Zuun Utga

Name: Zuun Utga

Age: 31

Affiliation: Templar

Appearance: Standing at roughly five foot ten, with broad shoulders and an imposing visage, Zuun is a muscular, scarred member of the Templar Order, and the Mongol Horde.

Personality: An arrogant and self-aggrandising person, Zuun believes himself to be the mightiest Templar outside of the politically and religiously recognised militant order in Europe. He feels that the destruction of the Assassins surpasses all goals - including control of the Holy Land, or the artefacts of the ancient ages. His hate for the Assassins has been a driving force behind his campaign for much of his life, attempting to be rid of the Mongol Assassins, before eventually travelling into the western most lands of the Horde, to personally take out the Levant Assassins, the most powerful and present group on the globe.

Despite his rather sombre and angry nature, Zuun has a weakness for women, and above all else, for alcohol. His addiction to the fine wines of Europa have proved his downfall time and time again, and his inability to hold himself back around beautiful women has led to numbers of issues between his Order and the Assassins. Seen mostly as a loose end by other Templars, he is treated almost like an annoying child, though he is often misjudged until it is too late, and he is forced to prove himself in combat.

Favourite Weapons: Chinese Halberd, Mongolian Sabre

Strengths: An immensely strong combatant, Zuun is able to outfight any and all he encounters, and still holds a record amongst the few Mongols in Western Asia to have yet been bested in combat by a European or Arabian.

Zuun is also renowned for his strong ties with the trade caravans of the Mongol Horde, which he uses to garner information, support, and in some cases, extremely valuable goods to be used in blackmailing or worse. His connections make him a valuable asset to those allied with the Templars.

Though a rare commodity, Zuun is an extremely wealthy individual, and has the means and the money to buy anything or anyone he may wish, which, when coupled with his strong connections across the continent, give him spectacular control over information coming in and out of Western Asia and Anatolia.

Weaknesses: Zuun is ignorant, and when he is proved wrong, he tends to struggle hiding his anger. When an issue is resolved against him, he often responds with brutality, perpetuating the concept that the Mongols are little more than savages. His willingness to fight tends to lead to him being drastically outnumbered.

Born to a Chinese mother and Mongol father, Zuun has many issues with his own identity, and struggles to admit that he is not a pure Mongol as he wishes he was. This has been used against him by numerous Assassins, which breaks his morale and puts him in a sore place, unable to properly fight, pursue, or even kill.

Background/Biography: Born in the heart of the Mongol Horde, Zuun has known nothing other than combat. Though he is well trained in archery and horse riding, as are all Mongol men, after the Mongols arrived on the borders of Baghdad he continued on as a bit of an emissary and scout, and learnt the art of hand-to-hand combat as well as the usefulness of melee weapons, personally preferring the large polearms and blades of his homeland. Though he has tinkered in Europe, travelling as far as Bulgaria, he never spent much time there and found it more comforting back in the Western Asia, where he enjoyed fighting as a mercenary, free agent, or anything in-between.

When Zuun was young, he'd managed to pillage a major trade route used by the Arabs. Though initially he and his host were eager to bathe in hold that night, the alternate offer was something rather useful. The traders would answer to Zuun, and all trade would go through him; anything valuable would be taken by him if he saw fit, and he'd be given the right to tax the route used by the entire trade caravans organised passages. Over time, his control grew to investment, and before long, he had a wealth of connections in the industry.

He began to train in the Arab lands, specifically in the Ayyubid lands, where he began to work in combat forms outside of those the Mongols practiced; sword play, hand-to-hand combat, and many other forms of military work. Though he was initially substantially inferior to those in the plains, he began to prove himself, and eventually even the Mongols had to admit he was a strong soldier. It was not long after this that he earned himself a spot within the Mongol armies, and became an official representative and agent of the Horde.

As Zuun grew, he began to dabble in the espionage ways of the Mongol Hordes more lethal Chinese agents. He quickly got himself tied up in a major conflict perpetuated by Templars, the Battle of Montgisard. There he proved extremely resourcefulness, and though he was employed by the Ayyubids, the Templars present saw promise, and quickly he was inducted into the secret order - though he never gained the honour of being marked as a Templar, he was pleased to simple stand as a member, carrying on their goals.

It didn't take long before Zuun was targeted by a number of Assassins, who had learnt he had been manipulating baggage trains in the region. Though the fight ended poorly for them, Zuun was rife with fury; they'd not only rivalled him, something even the knights of Europe failed to do, but they'd managed to surpass him in combat, slicing off much of his armour and general attire, as well as leaving him scarred across the back and chest. With his honour marred, Zuun dedicated the rest of his life to hunting down and ending the lives of any and all Assassins that he could find, be they capable, young, old, or masters of their art.

This is pretty good, although there's a good bit you can add in the bio section. Primarily you should include why he's so wealthy and has connections with the trade caravans, it's completely allowed but only so long as you explain and justify it. You've gone over why he's proficient in combat, so that's good. Something I think you can really play off of is his insecurity regarding his background and how that would have affected his early years within the Mongol Horde. Perhaps he was never truly accepted because of that until later on when he could prove himself in combat. It would certainly reinforce his aggressive nature. The only other thing is his hatred of the Assassins, consider taking another look at that. It makes sense and it works, but then again he's probably come across hundreds of warriors who he's fought. Why isn't he intent on eradicating all blue-eyed people after fighting one on the battlefield? Find a reason for this hatred whether it be because they actually posed a challenge to him, one was Chinese and reminded him of his heritage, or some other reason entirely. Take these things into account and I'll give it another look over.. Cheers!

Feel free to start RPing whenever you like, you've got a good character sheet and can hop into things. Most of the stuff I've mentioned is a bit nitpicky and more along the lines of things to look at if you want to.

Jas wrote:

Feel free to start RPing whenever you like, you've got a good character sheet and can hop into things. Most of the stuff I've mentioned is a bit nitpicky and more along the lines of things to look at if you want to.

No no, I totally understand. It's been a while since I was on an RP site like this, so I need to get back into it!

Edits have been made, tell me what you think Jas.

Good, very good. Go out there, RP, and hunt down some Assassins! APPROVED

Jas wrote:

Good, very good. Go out there, RP, and hunt down some Assassins! APPROVED

Thank ya' Jas!